Many different things come to mind when someone mentions “IEP.” Some feel it is an answer to a prayer, while others are entirely against labeling their children. As IEPs become increasingly popular amongst students, especially students of color, it’s important to enter the conversation with tools that empower you to make the best decision for your student. In this article, I’ll cover the following things:
- Goal setting & purpose
- Realistic vs unrealistic expectations for children you suspect need IEPs
- Examples of things you can do before getting an IEP
- Helping outside of the IEP
Setting Realistic IEP Goals
IEP meetings can be very scary for some parents because a lot of the terminology sounds like another language! However, if you enter the conversation by starting off and telling the professionals your goals for your student, that can help to drive the conversation and put you more at ease. This article will read as if I’m not supportive of IEPs. That is because I’m writing this from the perspective of a teacher who has encountered many students who were either given IEPs and didn’t need them or used their IEPs as a crutch, which prevented them from applying themselves and getting the most out of their lessons. I’m totally for IEPs, as long as they’re used with the correct intentions. Many of my highest-performing students had IEPs, and I’ll mention how they used their IEPs to become high-performing students.
Example from adayinourshoes.com
If you are unfamiliar with IEPs, I suggest you read my previous article here, which explains the basics.
Before you request to speak to anyone about IEPs, you must ask yourself the following questions:
Why am I doing this?
What do I expect to get out of this?
Have I tried everything?
How will this IEP support what I’m already doing?
These questions will help you set your own goal before setting a formal IEP goal. If you’re unfamiliar with IEPs and the process, read my past blog post here.
Identify the True Purpose of the IEP
What prompted the IEP process? Was it another teacher? Was it something you see at home? Sometimes, people opt for IEPs because they want their children to have more time on a test. What was your child doing with the time they had initially? Are their current answers accurate, and towards the end, the accuracy decreases? If so, then extra time could be needed.
However, if the test is inaccurate throughout, the problem could be a studying issue because if a student hasn’t studied for a test, it doesn’t matter how much time you give them; they won’t perform well.
Weed out variables
What have you already done to support a student if they are struggling? Have you tried a different approach to help them yet? I often get parents who want an outside person to support their children academically because it’s hard for parents to act as teachers and maintain patience with their children. As a parent, you already do SO much, so adding “teacher” or “tutor” to that role is taking more from your cup.
Many of our parents got a tutor to help their child before (and during) the IEP process because if the student has low grades, you still need that child to master that skill with or without the IEP. The need to master specific skills does not disappear once you get an IEP. Click here for information about how to start working with one of our tutors.
Keep a Record
Track your child’s academic progress, behavior, and any challenges in school. This documentation can be useful if you later decide to pursue an IEP. This can be as easy as downloading report cards and putting them on a digital file to share with other professionals.
To track behavior, admins usually need some formal documentation for a write-up. If they don’t send it home, ask for a quick picture. If the teacher is unavailable, the school dean can provide this. Screenshot any quick text message check-ins with teachers, good and bad, and add them all to the digital file.
Communicate with Teachers
Regular Check-Ins:
Meet with your child’s teacher regularly to discuss progress, challenges, and support your child might need.
Ask for Feedback:
Get specific feedback on how your child performs in class and implement it.
Track Data Again
I mentioned this earlier, but having before-and-after information about your student’s progress is important.
Provide Extra Support at Home
Homework help
If you don’t have time to look at homework and they work with an older sibling or parent, check in to ask them what they struggled with so you can relate it to the data you have in your file. Try to make the homework space as quiet and distraction-free space as possible. I used these noise-canceling headphones to give them to my students, and it helped filter out a lot of noise to promote more focus. This can also be helpful if you have a child on the spectrum who is sensitive to noise.
Educational Tools
There are lots of apps that can support kids learning. Make the most of your child’s screen time by making it educational. One of my favorite reading games for younger students learning to read is “Teach your Monster to Read.” This interactive, free online game allows you to have a pet monster and teach them how to read! Many other apps incentivize students to continue their learning streak, so I recommend looking through the app store and downloading different free or free trial games for your student and seeing which one sticks!
Routine and Structure
Some kids dislike learning because they’re not accustomed to learning outside of school. They have a clear distinction between school and home, which is great! However, if your child needs additional help, you must identify how to work it into their routine. Focus on creating cues and systems that make learning “automatic” when they get home. To learn how to create that structure at home, check out my post here.
Explore Tutoring or Academic Assistance
It is hard for kids to see their parents as “teachers.” This goes back to the clear distinctions/boundaries they’ve created between work and home. When those boundaries get crossed, confusion and frustration arise.
Teaching is a skill and a gift, just like a car mechanic. I can easily google how to change the oil in my car. However, taking it to a professional would be much easier, sufficient, safe, and effective. You can try to work with your child independently, but prepare for a long, arduous learning curve before you get results.
If your child is behind, time is of the essence, so the longer you wait or try to learn/google how to teach, the further behind your child will get. There is an indirect consequence of attempting to teach your child. If they are already behind, and you aren’t a teacher or don’t have the capacity, they will get further behind.
Focus on a Growth Mindset & Set Realistic Goals
The best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time, even if they are tiny. The smallest efforts and progress should be celebrated. For example, “Wow, yesterday you only focused for 5 minutes, and today you focused on 6!”, or “You didn’t know that sound yesterday, but now you do!”
The biggest mistakes I see parents making are trying to teach their child too much at one time or expecting their child to remember everything they went over before. This is not possible. Their brains are still developing! They need information in bite-sized pieces.
You can do these things immediately before jumping into the IEP process. It is a long and frustrating process that takes time; see my article about it here. So, there are things you can do to be proactive instead of reactive to your child’s needs. Let me know if this helps, or send this over to someone who may be on the fence about the IEP process.